The Day Is Upon Us

Today has finally arrived...the day that all of western civilization has been waiting for...designed for...created for...inspired for...WHITE TRASH XMAS EVE!!! Yes, ladies and pseudo-gentlemen, there is a turducken in my fridge as we speak...oh the wonderful sight...it is truly beautiful...it is truly magnificent...it is truly white trash! I couldn't be more proud.

Sitting here...at my computer...away from work...a White Trash Russian in one hand and a beautiful piece of glass in the other...it makes me think...think of others less fortunate than me...those who do not have the means to make their own white trash xmas eve...those who cannot afford a chicken in every pot...or a turkey, chicken and duck in their oven. It makes me think of those who are not as fortunate...so I would like you all to give at least 1 dollar to those men and women ringing the bells for the Salvation Army, or find your own way to give a little back. If everyone gave a little something maybe less people would have nothing.

One a lighter note...

I have named book 4, yes...the 4th book no one will read...is named! A wonderful name that I want to use sooner...but I won't...

No one wrote about my terribly hilarious joke in my last blog...I am assuming it went unnoticed...and for some of you I find terribly disappointing. Oh well...

I am writing more and more and it is wonderful. Things are really moving forward again...with a HUGE FUCKING ROADBLOCK right in my way...I have hit a point where I need to start pulling threads together...and that may not be easy...but I will manage.

Arsenal won again...and are on top of the premiership as then prepare for their Boxing Day match. Waking up at 4am to go to a bar and watch soccer may seem crazy to some of you...but there is a wonderful strangeness about being sober at 4am in a bar...and being drunk at 6am. Priceless.

I am off to cook for our white trash xmas eve party...no...extravaganza! It will be good. It will be very good.

I love all of you...okay...maybe not all of you.. and I thank you for all that you have contributed to my fight for a life...okay...maybe not ALL that you have contributed. Okay...that didn't come out right...how about this...chances are i don't wish any of you to be hit buy a bus and linger in a not really dead not really alive vegetative state for years while your family slowly abandons you and all hope of your survival...but you can see them...sadly you are powerless to communicate...all you hear is their anguished cries for you to wake up but you cant.

Okay...that didn't end up well either...how about this...if there is a hell, and i am sure there is, and i am sure you are all going to be there...I wish that I can be close enough to each of you to smell your burning flesh and hear your horrific cries of help for all eternity. Actually, I don't want to be there with you...

Okay...how about this...

To all of you I wish you nothing but joy and happiness in the new year...may you all love what you do and do what you love...and if you're lucky...who you love...or like a little bit...or is very good looking...or kind of good looking but is nice...or is unattractive and rich...or anyone who will let you.

HAPPY WHITE TRASH XMAS EVE...HAPPY FESTIVUS!!!



To be able to practice five things everywhere under heaven constitutes perfect virtue... gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity,earnestness,and kindness.- Confucius

One Example Of Literary Irony

The Holiday Season is now upon us, so I would like to start my latest indulgence with the obligitory season's greetings. This is the season where the little things get lost in the fast paced shuffle of consumerism. I am thankful for the little things...such as:

*Arsenal Beat Chelsea this morning 1-0.

*My fantasy team had the lowest scoring output of the season...and won! We are headed to the finals.

*Got a tree...a great tree. Tomorrow night I will be decorating it.

*I am done shopping.

*Senior Goldbergo was in town last week and we had a lot of fun getting drunk and playing table games while I jones'd hard for a smoke.

*Holiday food!

*Holiday parties.

*A little extra something in your stocking...


...and many, many more.


Now some random thoughts...

I am thinking of making my blog for friends only. I am getting a lot of people reading this drivel...and I am not sure who it could be. I would hate to think that people are only getting these small glimpses without the proper context...something someone could so easily misconstrue and think I am an asshole.

I haven't been writing much recently, and I don't know why. I like what I am writing more than anything I have written before...maybe it is too much pressure. I don't know. I feel loose when I write, but I get a little anxious every time I think about writing.

I just found out that there are The Big Lewboski conventions...they have them all over the country. The one in LA has a tour...a tour of The Big Lebowski related spots...okay...I am truly torn here. I love the movie and think it is one of the greatest movies of all time...but I also recognize that the idea of a Big Lebowski festival/convention is just as stupid and pathetic as a Star Trek convention...but here is the horrible part...IF the opportunity came to me...and I didn't actively pursue it...I would go...I know it would be lame...I know I would be lame...but I would do it.

Is there a difference between Rufus T. Firefly and George W. Bush?

Tonight was a great Simpson's episode.

The 185th Annual White Trash Xmas eve is coming along swimmingly. The Turducken is going to be ready in time...the guest list is being finalized...growing in numbers like VD in an inner city high school...this is shaping up to be the trashiest White Trash Xmas Eve since the missing week of '58...and I think all know how painful that was.

Be safe. Have a great holiday season. Go Arsenal. Go Cowboys. Go Santa. Go Presents. Go Go-Go's.



If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. - Glenn Clark