The Unusual Lightness of Being

Where to begin? That is the question...

Ok. I will begin with the best news, and go from there...

Throughout this writing process I have been very open, as open as I could, about my experiences. I have tried to explain the joy and pain of what has become my obsession. Even the alienation I have felt over my writing and the business side of it all...but now that something wonderful has happened to me, I have held off blogging about it...and I can't understand why...well..I know why...it is because this is the first substantial step I have taken since I finished the first manuscript. I guess the dream has headed into a new phase and I am uneasy...scared...about it.

A few weeks ago I got tired of the whining and the bellyaching. I was really irritated at the lack of progress, but more than that...I was irritated by my own inability to know what to do. I was lost...well....thanks to my job I came up with an idea. I advertised for an independent editor. someone that would be able to help take my ADMITTEDLY rough edition and polish this turd into something good. Well, I found her. She seems really good. She has big house publishing experience...I hope that doesn't mean prison...I didn't ask...and she has helped authors get published. Now the dreams of being published are still that...dreams. I in NO way believe that this book will be the next Davinci Code...poorly written but interesting and a best seller...but I think she can get me to a point where I can look at the final project and be proud. That is all I really want. If I have to self-publish...great...IF I get paid to publish...great. I just want a publishable manuscript. I think she can do that for me. So, we start our partnership as of the first of the month. She even DEEPLY discounted her rate for me because she liked the chapters she read...so that make me feel well.
Overall I received 70+ critiques of my first 3 chapters and they were almost all glowing. Only 2 people told me that it wasn't worth their time. The rest really liked it. So, it was an ego boost, and it was also a vindication that I am not crazy...this book has some merit...or books... have some merit. That is a huge relief for me. I wasn't sure to be perfectly honest...I was have been so hard on myself I just didn't know anymore if it was good. I needed this. So...that is my big news.

Job...I was pretty down on it when I started, but this job with a major telecom company has been the best working experience of my life. I can't go into major details, but I am actually influencing marketing and recruitment efforts on a national level. Job postings all over the country are being changed because I have redesigned them. People are applying for these jobs because of my vision and desire to market the jobs to the demographics that will be most affected by them. That is thrilling. A Fortune 100 company is actually listening to me. I have had success with other companies, but nothing at this level.

I am in my new apartment, and yes...I still miss my old place and i am not sure that this is something that I enjoy...but it is close to work and it will due for now. What can you do? What is done is done.

Arsenal is on the top of the Premiership...and that is a great thing...especially with the loss of Henry.

Looks like I will be getting my 61" flat screen for my bedroom, that is pretty cool.


Lots more...but I am just tired and watching the Patriots spank the Chargers. I guess I will end it with the fact that life is good, and i feel great. I really do. It seems like life is moving forward, and that is a good thing. Nothing worse than being stuff in existence. Too painful to endure.


Man is so made that whenever anything fires his soul, impossibilities vanish. - Jean de la Fontaine