Today has finally arrived...the day that all of western civilization has been waiting for...designed for...created for...inspired for...WHITE TRASH XMAS EVE!!! Yes, ladies and pseudo-gentlemen, there is a turducken in my fridge as we speak...oh the wonderful sight...it is truly beautiful...it is truly magnificent...it is truly white trash! I couldn't be more proud.
Sitting here...at my computer...away from work...a White Trash Russian in one hand and a beautiful piece of glass in the other...it makes me think...think of others less fortunate than me...those who do not have the means to make their own white trash xmas eve...those who cannot afford a chicken in every pot...or a turkey, chicken and duck in their oven. It makes me think of those who are not as fortunate...so I would like you all to give at least 1 dollar to those men and women ringing the bells for the Salvation Army, or find your own way to give a little back. If everyone gave a little something maybe less people would have nothing.
One a lighter note...
I have named book 4, yes...the 4th book no one will read...is named! A wonderful name that I want to use sooner...but I won't...
No one wrote about my terribly hilarious joke in my last blog...I am assuming it went unnoticed...and for some of you I find terribly disappointing. Oh well...
I am writing more and more and it is wonderful. Things are really moving forward again...with a HUGE FUCKING ROADBLOCK right in my way...I have hit a point where I need to start pulling threads together...and that may not be easy...but I will manage.
Arsenal won again...and are on top of the premiership as then prepare for their Boxing Day match. Waking up at 4am to go to a bar and watch soccer may seem crazy to some of you...but there is a wonderful strangeness about being sober at 4am in a bar...and being drunk at 6am. Priceless.
I am off to cook for our white trash xmas eve party...no...extravaganza! It will be good. It will be very good.
I love all of you...okay...maybe not all of you.. and I thank you for all that you have contributed to my fight for a life...okay...maybe not ALL that you have contributed. Okay...that didn't come out right...how about this...chances are i don't wish any of you to be hit buy a bus and linger in a not really dead not really alive vegetative state for years while your family slowly abandons you and all hope of your survival...but you can see them...sadly you are powerless to communicate...all you hear is their anguished cries for you to wake up but you cant.
Okay...that didn't end up well either...how about this...if there is a hell, and i am sure there is, and i am sure you are all going to be there...I wish that I can be close enough to each of you to smell your burning flesh and hear your horrific cries of help for all eternity. Actually, I don't want to be there with you...
Okay...how about this...
To all of you I wish you nothing but joy and happiness in the new year...may you all love what you do and do what you love...and if you're lucky...who you love...or like a little bit...or is very good looking...or kind of good looking but is nice...or is unattractive and rich...or anyone who will let you.
HAPPY WHITE TRASH XMAS EVE...HAPPY FESTIVUS!!!
To be able to practice five things everywhere under heaven constitutes perfect virtue... gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity,earnestness,and kindness.- Confucius
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